Why Etiquette?

While I’m working on the next blog article for our series on biblical women (next up is Sarah!), I’ve decided to kick off with a new series. Since the last bible study was of a rather dark story, I thought it might be nice to have some more lighthearted posts to mix it up a bit and continue with some of the other ideas I have for Feminine Finishing School. So let’s talk about etiquette!

History of Etiquette

The word ‘etiquette’ comes from the French étiquette, which meant a label or note. This is because signs were placed around the court of the French king Louis XIV at Versailles to remind his courtiers how they were expected to behave. These signs were known as étiquettes. The term was then borrowed by the Spanish royal court, who began using it to refer to the actual behaviour rather than just the signs it was written on. The French borrowed it back from Spain with this new meaning, and from France it was then adopted into English. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word ‘etiquette’ was first used in English in 1737. By the mid-eighteenth century, etiquette had become established as a word in the English language. With the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, it then grew in importance as increased opportunities for social mobility became available to the public and people wanted to improve themselves.

Relevance of Etiquette Today

Etiquette is sometimes dismissed as a snobbish set of silly rules. Although some people may have degraded it to that, that is not its true nature. The purpose of etiquette is NOT to catch people out! It’s not about judging other people for their social faux pas, but about learning the correct behaviour to help put others at ease. True etiquette and good manners are about the spirit of intention behind them. They act as a social lubricant that can allow you to feel more confident in how to behave, so as to best communicate and interact with other people. Making the effort to act according to etiquette is a way to show respect and appreciation for those around you.

While the underlying spirit of good manners, respect, and kindness are universal, the more specific details of etiquette are culturally defined. As such, behaving with good etiquette is an implicit signal that you either belong to that culture or that you care enough to learn about it. By appearing gracious and graceful as a true lady (or gentleman), you allow bridges to be crossed between people and doors to be opened to new opportunities. Etiquette should be guided by the circumstance in which you find yourself, as it is dependant on the different cultures and levels of formality, however it’s wise to be prepared beforehand with a knowledge of the proper behaviours.

Often these are not things that most of us learn while growing up. Those who are in the know tend to take that knowledge for granted, so it can be difficult for us to learn ourselves. However, I hope that Feminine Finishing School can become a place to gather that information from the obscure corners it’s been hiding in. I have plans to write many blog articles on the overlooked details of etiquette, so I do hope that you will enjoy learning alongside me.