In my last blog article, we established that there is far more to femininity that just pink and sparkles. (Fun though those may be!) True femininity is a challenge that we can grow into over time. It’s also a joy that we can delight in. If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you want to become more feminine. Welcome! The first step is to define what femininity means for you. All women express it through the lens of their own personality, so it may look slightly different for you than for another women. I think there are a few foundation qualities however that are shared in healthy femininity.
Since I’m Christian, I personally look to the Bible to learn God’s intention for women. By cultivating healthy femininity and continually seeking to become a better person, I can bring glory to God. At least, that’s the aim – I’m still on this journey alongside you! I believe the most important part of femininity is internal. It should change our hearts, not just our external appearances. I’ve been contemplating femininity whilst reading the Bible and listening to other people’s ideas for some time now. Although I personally consider femininity through the lens of my Christian values, I would love to hear what your perspective is. Here below are three key aspects of healthy femininity!
Nurture Others
‘And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.’
Genesis 2:18
God called woman to be ‘an help meet’. As I’ve previously described when writing about Eve, the original Hebrew term for help meet has no connotations at all of being merely a subservient assistant. The phrase rather refers to a strong rescuer who provides vital help, and who is the perfect match to harmoniously partner with the man. God designed all women to be help meets as an innate part of our character. This means we are made strong with great power to help others – not just our husband but all people. God made all things good (before sin messed it up) yet even then He declared that women could make things better! One way we can live into our femininity is by taking on that role of being a strong helper and striving to make things better for our family, friends, community, and all people we encounter. We have the powerful gift of being able to nurture and encourage people to become who God designed them to be. We can also nurture our homes, our environments, and ourselves to bring about flourishing and goodness.
Create Life
‘And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.’
Genesis 3:20
Another significant title given to woman right at the beginning of the Bible is ‘the mother of all living’. This quality was recognised in Eve by her husband Adam after a revelation from God to them both. At surface level this refers to women’s significance in giving birth to all the people alive. However, the interesting point is that this title was conferred before Eve had even had any children. Being the mother of all living is, then, as much a metaphorical and spiritual role as it is a biological one. God is the ultimate source of life and the creator of all. To express our femininity we are called to contribute to God’s good world by continuing His creative project. We are to create whatever is positive and life-giving. This might mean creating children, families, homes, communities, and relationships. It also means creating things of beauty, works of art, or utilising whatever gifts we have. Besides the final created object, the act of creativity itself with the love and joy that goes into it adds to the glory of God.
Choose Wisely
‘And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.’
Genesis 3:6
Nurturing and creativity are all very good, but we need to be grounded in something deeper. In the story of Genesis, Eve was deceived because she ‘desired to make one wise’. She had this innate desire for wisdom even before sin entered the world. Wisdom is good and we are told elsewhere in the Bible that only fools despise wisdom (Proverbs 1:7). The problem was that Eve wasn’t very wise about how she gained knowledge. Instead of trusting God and learning wisdom from Him, she made the fatal decision to be deceived into disobeying the one thing God had asked of her. All of us are going to come up against difficult situations in our lives. As women, we are sometimes perceived as more vulnerable and are therefore at greater risk from the bad people in this world. It is essential therefore in developing mature femininity that we learn how to make good judgements. We need to know when to listen to our intuition, but also be aware that our feelings can deceive us. Wisdom is important for living our lives well, as well as for living in relationships and community well. Let us learn from the Lord.
Feminine Finishing School 
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